Anger-Free Parents

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Coping with divorce seems especially difficult during the holidays. Sadness, anger, and regret can overwhelm you at a time that should be exciting and happy. Memories of happier times emphasize the unwelcome changes divorce brings. You may dread holiday get-togethers that you used to anticipate with pleasure. It’s difficult enough to deal with your own emotions; facing family and friends is often too much to bear. Financial uncertainty may create worry where once you enjoyed generosity.

For children, divorce turns the holidays upside down. They are torn, wanting to be with both parents. They worry that the holidays won’t be the same. Will they see Grandma? Will Santa find them? Will they get any presents? They hide their bigger fears about how divorce will change the family behind a litany of fears about holiday activities and traditions.

Other than perhaps the death of a parent, divorce is often the single most traumatic event in a child’s life. In America 60% of all marriages end in divorce and a third of those divorces involve bitter conflict. One million children in our country are involved in divorce each year.

As typically practiced in America, divorce rips asunder the very foundation of a child’s world. It shatters the family structure, destroys communication between the parents, and irrevocably changes the child’s relationship with each parent. Children suffer not only their own fears and misery over the loss of the family but, too often, are used as pawns by one parent to hurt the other. Out of anger or emotional need, one parent may seek to monopolize the child’s time and affection to the exclusion of the other parent. There are no winners in a divorce. Everyone loses, but the children lose most of all.

How a couple divorces has far greater impact on their children than the actual separation, researchers have found. Weary of acrimonious divorce battles and the expense and emotional damage they cause, legal professionals sought a more constructive way to dissolve marriage, giving birth to Collaborative Family Law in 1990. Collaborative law focuses on divorce not just as a painful ending but as an opportunity for a new beginning. Stressing cooperation over confrontation and resolution over revenge, collaborative divorce is transforming how couples dissolve their marriages, divide their assets, and reinvent their post-divorce parenting relationships.

Taking place outside the court process, collaborative practice uses a cooperative team approach in which both parties and their respective attorneys meet together, sometimes advised by financial or child experts. During meetings, parents learn and practice open communication, self-management and negotiation skills that can form the basis for successful future interactions. They learn to manage and reduce conflict and the anguish and divided loyalties it can engender in their children. Through collaboration, parents have the opportunity to lay a foundation for the respectful, cooperative parenting of their children. Agreements are reached jointly in the collaborative process and seek to accomplish the goals of both parties while preserving the welfare of the entire family, particularly the children. Through collaborative divorce, couples have the opportunity to emerge with a fair settlement and peaceable relationship that minimizes the negative effects of divorce on their children. That’s a holiday gift more precious than gold!

Michaeil Mastracci
http://www.articlesbase.com/mental-health-articles/coping-with-divorce-during-the-holidays-675462.html

Depression is hell as it is been referred by many of the doctors and hypnosis – therapists. There is no single reason for depression. Some of the symptoms of depression are a person feeling sad all the time for no proper reason. Low energy level or just being lazy and not doing your tasks. Things that you enjoyed the most you start hating, withdrawal from family and friends. Constant anger, frustration, not able to concentrate on work, all are symptoms. Weight loss or gain significantly, changing sleeping patterns, less sleep, waking up early and thoughts of suicide or death are some of the symptoms observed.

People can get depressed even if they are been not able to get up with energy in the morning. Depression has many factors, which affect an individual. Medical problem, personal life problems, even genetics can be a cause for depression. You might think how can depression have a genetic cause, research shows that some people get the genes that are inherited from their parents suffering from depression and this can also affect them. Not everyone is affected by it; there can be a case that a person is suffering from depression even though no one from his family has ever undergone it. Events such as death of a loved one, family member, friend or even your pet can be a reason for depression when it goes beyond the normal grief.

Separation from your partner, parents getting divorced, partner betraying you, sometimes not getting satisfaction from your job or work can cause you to go in the state of depression. Family and social problems even trigger the cause of depression. For children seeing parents fight all the time, teens not getting what they want from their parents, negative thoughts in the mind also lead to depression, homelessness relationship problems, all can suffice as reasons. A person may also go into a state of depression if he is abused or scolded all the time. Abusing a person causes a chemical change, which differs the mood of a person. Medical conditions such as disability causes depression.

Depression directly affects the brain of a person. Depression is called as delicate chemistry of brain. Chemicals named neurotransmitters, which send messages, or signals to the brain change the mood of a person. If the flow of these signals is low then the person gets depressed or stressed. Stress also leads to depression. The cure for depression is to balance the neurotransmitters flow normally. Doctors attempt to resolve this by using a method of hypnosis. Hypnosis has been very effective then any other diagnosis. Experts have posted their thoughts about depression and its remedies on the Internet. If you feel that you are a prey of depression you can overcome depression yourself. The remedy is available on the Internet in the form of mp3 or video, which you can download and use to deal with depression. Overcoming depression yourself will help you get cured at a faster rate. Come out of depression and see the new sunshine by the help of hypnosis. Use your freewill in overcoming depression yourself.

Richard MacKenzie
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/depression-can-be-dealt-with-311085.html

Have recently, or not so recently, discovered that you are getting cheated on by your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you are thinking to yourself, how do I handle getting cheated on? Well fret no more, I have the answer for you. If their cheating is more than you can stand, then you have a decision to make: Turn the other cheek or take action.

1. Think about the source of your suspicion. Unless you’ve seen it yourself, then make sure you are right in your suspicions, or it could be you making mountains out of mole hills.

2. Make sure that jealousy and insecurity are not making you falsely accuse someone you care about.

3. Trust your instincts. If you think that your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating on you, then ask them. If their answer is, “Oh, no honey. Of course not! How could you even ask such a thing? You know I love you and only you (kiss-kiss),” but you simply don’t believe them, make sure your mistrust is based on something you witness or experience.

4. Noticing a change in your relationship or their behavior would make your suspicion reasonable.

5. Consider your physical health and emotional well-being. Could they be putting you at risk for sexually transmitted diseases? Can you deal with being one of many?

6.Think about what you would tell a sibling or a best friend to do in your situation. Is fear keeping you from following your own advice?

7. Discuss your feelings with your significant other. Tell them how their cheating is affecting you. Explain what you’re looking for in this relationship.

8. Listen to what they have to say. Their response to your concerns should give you the information you need to do what is right for you.

9. Inform your your love of your decision, whether it is to forgive them and start over, have a brief separation while you figure out what to do, or part ways.

Keith
http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/9-tips-for-how-to-handle-getting-cheated-on-693202.html

Mental health counselling can be an effective therapy as part of a wider treatment plan for an individual who is suffering from depression or an anxiety related disorder, or for people who have experienced a traumatic event in their lives and are finding it difficult to cope with, or for those who are struggling to deal with specific problems and issues. It is often a doctor who will recommend mental health counselling, however, many individuals will seek the services of a counsellor themselves, either by asking their doctor for advice or by approaching a counsellor directly.

What is counselling

Basically, counselling can be described as a type of talking therapy. It is usually delivered in a safe and private setting so that the individual concerned can relax and talk openly and freely about their particular problems or issues and the emotions or feelings that can accompany them.

It is described as a talking therapy because the counsellor will listen empathetically to an individual in order to understand the situation from the individuals point of view. In doing this a trained counsellor will be able to encourage an individual to see their situation more clearly, perhaps from a different perspective, and will be able to help them identify new ways of coping with their problems or circumstances. Counselling usually does not involve giving advice or telling someone what to do with their lives, it is more about exploring problems, identifying possible solutions and choices and obtaining clarity.

For counselling to be effective, it is essential that an element of trust develops between the counsellor and the person or persons receiving the counselling as only in this way can there be an open and free dialogue. It may take time for a person receiving counselling to lose any initial feelings of distrust, fear and embarrassment so quite often counselling will be offered over several sessions in order for a relationship to develop between the counsellor and the patient or client.

There are several types of mental health counselling services available, each drawing on its own particular theory of human psychology and development. There are also many different types of counsellors, some of who are trained to deal with a particular problem or circumstance. For example bereavement counsellors, counsellors who specialise in eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia, and counsellors who understand the issues surrounding drug and alcohol addiction, as well as many others.

Counselling can take place on a one to one basis, or in group sessions, face to face or over the phone. It can last for just one session, a specific block of sessions or be open ended with no time limit at all. Regardless of the particular type of mental health problem involved, the first step to recovery is recognising that there is a problem in the first place.

When mental health counselling can help

Mental health counselling can be particularly beneficial for individuals who have a tendency to repress feelings like guilt, frustration, anger, resentment, sadness and so on and who find it difficult to cope alone and who for whatever reason, perhaps do not want to discuss how they feel with their friends and family. It can help an individual to gain new insights into their own particular circumstances and problems and to achieve clarity and direction in life. Most of all it can help an individual cope and improve their quality of life.

There are numerous circumstances where someone might seek the services of a mental health counsellor or be referred for counselling by their doctor and these include but are certainly not limited to:

Relationship problems, including separation and divorce
Problems at work or financial worries, dismissal, redundancy
Physical, sexual and/or mental abuse
Bereavement
Depression and anxiety
Post natal depression
Eating disorders
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
Alcohol and drug abuse
Phobias
Panic Attacks
Dealing with stress
Post traumatic stress

Finding a counsellor

In order to get the right kind of help it is important that you access the most appropriate type of counselling for you and as there are so many available options, it can be problematic if you decide to go it alone.

In the first instance, it would be advisable to speak to your doctor as he or she will be able to take into consideration your full medical history before recommending any particular type of therapy or counsellor. If you decide to seek the services of a trained counsellor independently, it is up to you to check out the cost and the credentials of any potential counsellor before you start.

Many voluntary organisations have counsellors and there are numerous private counsellors advertising in the press, phone books and on the Internet. However, you can find an accredited counsellor from the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy website at bacp or from the National Board for Certified Counsellors at nbcc if you live in the USA.

Simon Jones
http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/mental-health-counselling-is-a-great-idea-186977.html

A breakup is a difficult thing to deal with, and it is hard on you and your ex. There are a great number of hurt emotions and feelings, and the act of surviving a breakup will involve a great deal of personal strength. This task may seem daunting, especially with a big void in your chest. You cannot easily fill that void with anything, it is that painful and difficult to handle. What you should consider, however, is that you are not the first couple to break up and you will not be the last. You should take solace in that you and your partner will survive and will be moving forward.

When you are faced with the task of trying to surviving a breakup, there are a number of tips which will lead you towards surviving the breakup. The first step is to not bottle up the pain. One cannot go through life without pain. Breaking up with a loved one is emotionally the same as the death of one. You should know that you will be hurt and that it is okay to break down a little and cry as needed. You should write down stuff, you should scream, you should do whatever is needed to let all of the pain out and move on.

Once you have reached a clear and calm state, you are now ready to evaluate things and try and find out where you and your partner are in the relationship. Knowing where you are will allow you and yours to make the right decision. More times than not, you will find that the relationship is truly over. This is something that you and your ex partner needs to come to terms with. Once you are at terms with things, you take the next step.

When you have come to the decision not to let the relationship continue, you and your ex needs to remove the overlaps in your lives. This includes property that you two have exchanged and are left at the other’s home. This sort of negotiation and separation is to ensure that nothing is left as an emotional landmine later on in your lives. Once the two of you have completely separated, then what you should do is to perform a finalizing ritual. This is a symbolic event which will involve letting an effigy of your ex go, via destroying it or some other task. You could burn one of their letters, their photo, throw away their leftovers, and delete their files off your computer and so on. This symbolic gesture is for your benefit.

At this point, you should use whatever support that is available to you. This can be friends, family, and other loved ones that can provide an emotional support net for you.  Even though you have done what you can to soften the blow of the break up, you will still face turbulence. As a result you will need all of the help you can get as you are surviving a breakup.

mixeyblob
http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/surviving-a-breakupdifficult-but-doable-782938.html