Anger-Free Parents

Archive for the ‘Single moms’ Category

It seems obvious that everyone sets that standard themselves. Being a great dad isn’t achieving one set of measures, or even ensuring that your child confirms you’re a great dad whenever prompted.

Being a great dad is an every day climb up the mountain, or a thousand-task test of parenting skills: patience, generosity, creativity, intelligence, wisdom. What works one day is a failure the next. Not all of us can stay at home with our kids, attend every concert and performance, or even make macaroni and cheese. Unlike moms, who seem to have more prescribed roles by society in this area, we blunder about trying to maintain our manhood, while aiming to be good and present parents. But, what does that entail? It’s not just making breakfast, but knowing how to make oatmeal like mommy makes it. It’s not picking them up at school, but being there five minutes early because you know a five-year old doesn’t want to be the last one picked up. It’s not just setting out the clothes to wear, but allowing your daughter to wear all pink. It’s not just buying the toy, but playing it over and over for hours because you can’t let the kid “just win.”

Today I failed at being a great dad to my daughter. It was the big Chinese New Year’s trip to Chinatown and she had her Chinese dress all set up to wear, but all her tights were in the laundry. I quickly volunteered to wash them and throw them in the dryer. Twenty minutes later with my carpool partner knocking at the door, the tights were still soaking wet and unwearable. Daughter, in tears, left the house, tights-less. The story has a happy ending only because I had the free time to continue drying the tights and race over to the school to beat the field trip departure and hand over the now-dry tights. Crisis averted, daddy restored to hero status. But how fragile that perch!

I’ll try in this blog to provide a forum for dads of different types and styles to relate their challenges and solutions. I’ll also give some advice on things to do, places to visit, and some things to have in your pocket, both literally and figuratively, as you try to be a great dad, whatever that means to you.

For more information about parental advice for single dads, please visit: http://www.greatdad.com

Paul Banas
http://www.articlesbase.com/men’s-issues-articles/howto-be-a-great-dad-99336.html

With the rule of society changing to make way for smaller families that live away from their own families and friend’s groups or known communities like those existing in small-towns or rural settings that often have family elders or older siblings looking after the younger lot, there is a need for good childcare facilities that daycare centers springing up everywhere hope to provide. Not only do working moms and dads benefit from sending their kids to quality daycare, but even those recuperating from an illness or those attending to medical emergencies in the family also find a way to meet child-rearing challenges in a child-safe environment that the daycares of today provide.

1. Thus, with baby boomers showing the way for independent thinking and living even post-retirement and having been the kids that go out there and ‘just do it’ – there is loads of encouragement for kids to become independent of parental support at an early age; there are fewer stay at home moms and many Single parents that make it necessary for more children now than ever before to be placed in daycare so they are not latch-key kids, like the ’80’s had. With so many instances of sex-offenders on the prowl for innocent kids, staying home alone is not a viable option and daycares provide qualified, trained staff focused on keeping children safe, happy and out of danger while learning new skills and activities besides seeing to their timely meals and rest, so are a good bet for many parents.
2. For those parents that cannot afford or find a suitable in-house babysitter or caregiver, daycare provides the best alternative for placing their child in safe, capable hands and a kids-friendly community where they learn to get along with other kids. Daycare options are a-plenty with variable fee-costs that make it an affordable and convenient option, not to mention safe and comfortable kids-friendly environment to learn and socialize in, for many parents; from full-daycare to part-time services to even week-end options, there are all kinds of daycares abounding! For pre-schoolers, there’s the option of after-school only daycare (3-5 hours) and for babies or toddlers, many a time one parent or the other may juggle work-load and shifts to be around so it may only be part-time daycare required, which makes it possible for parents to always follow every important milestone in the child’s life.
3. Instead of just watching TV or eating junk-food or perhaps putting themselves in danger when left alone without adult supervision at home, children are better off at daycares that provide a host of all-round child development facilities apart from full-time trained staff attending to children’s needs, right from healthcare to playtime and medical emergencies. You can choose to volunteer a few hours a week to make the transition from a home environment to a community one easier on your child or pay surprise visits to spend extra quality time with your precious one; this will allow you to know the real functioning of the daycare center and allow you to bond with your child.

Abhishek Agarwal
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/child-care-3-points-that-make-it-imperative-740391.html

When I tell people that my husband and  have a blended family of five kids, two boys and three girls, I hear the obvious chuckle and the usual comment that our life is like TV show. They are, of course, referring to The Brady Bunch, an idyllic, fantasy-like sitcom of yesteryear where aside from Marsha getting hit in the nose with a football and Jan developing an allergy to flea powder, life was pretty much tame (and lame if you ask my kids). I do agree that my life is like a TV show, but more along the lines of a modern day reality program, like Survivor. When I see a group of adults bickering over coconut milk dressed in skimpy outfits in front of a roaring fire in the tropics all I can think is, “Big deal, where’s the challenge?” Try taking five cranky, bored, dirty, exhausted kids on a camping trip, in tight quarters, in the rain for five days. Survive that!  Better yet, see if you can pack five lunches every morning, cook dinner for seven every night, attend four different soccer games in one day, wash twenty loads of laundry a week and feign interest in your daughter’s story about the weird kid in her class who eats paper.

 My life is far from ideal. My dogs smell, my house is never clean all at once and I forget to water my plants  until they die and I have to throw them out. We manage. I have my priorities. At least I don’t forget to feed the kids. How could I? They’re always hanging over me begging for food.  Then of course there’s the constant juggling of schedules of five children alternating among three separate households. Who left green bunny at Dad’s or their math textbook at Mom’s? It seems like something is always forgotten somewhere. Remembering where five kids have to be all the time is challenge worthy of an NFL offense coordinator. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gritted my teeth at one of my children to “get your cleats on, get in the car, we’re going to be late for soccer!” only to discover I’ve driven to the wrong field and forgotten it was my turn to bring snack. Oh, how I wish my life were like Carol Brady’s. I’d have time to read, and sleep, and eat without interruption. I’D HAVE A MAID.  My husband and I would never fight and I could go the bathroom alone. I try to take comfort in the thought that at least I have better hair and I’m not walking around in double knit plaid pantsuits.

Truthfully, I love my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. When my first marriage ended in divorce and I reentered the single scene at age 40 I truly thought my days of coupledom were over. With two kids under the age of 9, and struggling to support myself as a single mom, not only did I not have the time for dating, I didn’t have the confidence either. I worried that my children would not accept a new man in my life or worse, that a new man wouldn’t accept them either. Childless men I dated were impatient with or lacked the understanding of the demands and challenges of having children. On the other hand, men with families were in the same predicament I was–no time and no energy. Even though I considered my kids my greatest asset, I was soon confronted with the harsh reality that not all of my dating prospects thought so. Refusing to believe that my children were a liability, or “baggage” as one man put it, I gave up on dating, retreated into myself and worried that I would spend the rest of my life alone. Then I met and fell in love with Paul, a loving father of three and we decided to marry and blend our family of five kids, four cats, three dogs, two fish and a bird.    As a newly remarried mother of two and stepmother of three, I’ve decided to start this blog because I feel I have a message of hope and guidance to share with parents and children who are already in or who are thinking  about entering into blended families.

When word spread that my husband and I were engaged, people I barely knew, mostly acquaintances from my kids’ schools, would approach me at soccer games or in the grocery store and flood me with questions. “How did you meet him? Does he have kids? How do they all get along? What are the custody arrangements?” The more I answered their questions, the more specific they became. “How do you get them all to school on time? How  do you split the holidays? Do you really cook  dinner for seven people every night and pack five lunches every morning?”  (Yes, I do. Every other week. See my RECIPES FOR FAMILY DINNERS page to learn tips and menu ideas.)

I quickly came to realize that not only did they want advice, they wanted inspiration and assurance that it was possible for them to remarry and blend their families too. One dear friend of mine, once a single mom and recently remarried into a blended family told me, “You are my beacon of hope.” If that is the case, then I will try to shine as bright as I can, and most importantly, tell is like it is. The same friend also told me she admired my honestly. I try to keep it real. I’m ecstatically happy now, but when life stinks, and often times it can, I’ll make sure to let you know. We all have challenges and no one’s life is a bed of roses.  Please read and write comments so we can laugh and cry together, gnash our teeth, wring our hands, share our joys and triumphs, and most importantly learn from each other.

We are the Shwanda’s , which is not our real name. It is a combination of our two last names that our kids came up with one day when they were playing a computer game called Sims. The object of the game is to design and build a house and create a family to live happily in it, which is exactly what we did. This is our story.

Note: I know many people who read this blog already know me. With regard to the general public, in the interest of protecting my family’s privacy, I have changed their names.  I will refer to my husband as Paul, his oldest son, 17 as Sam, the younger boy, 15 as Mark, and his daughter, 11 as Cheryl. My oldest daughter, 15 will be called, Sophia and my youngest daughter, 12 as Eva. As for me, just call me Carol. This should be very interesting since I can’t remember their names now.

To read my blog go to: www.shwanda.com

Carol Shwanda
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/how-one-couple-took-a-second-chance-on-love-and-blended-five-kids-four-cats-three-dogs-two-fish-and-a-bird-722540.html

For this coming Christmas, for sure you want to give a gift for your mom. Just like anybody else, mothers do also have a wish list for Christmas, and they are wishing for gifts they would love to receive. Although each wish list is unique, but there are wish list gifts that any mom would love to have. Here are an example of wish list gifts to buy for moms this coming Christmas.

A Family Bonding. Some families love to have a get-together party a day before Christmas. This may include, of course, the immediate family member and also the extended family. You may book the last Saturday before Christmas, except if that happens on Christmas eve. With this, you’ll enjoy partying with siblings, cousins, in-laws and out-laws and one happy night of fun and holiday sharing. This tradition is a great help to build or strengthen a good relationship between the both sides. The Holiday season is the perfect time for those who also want to share a happy time with their families of origin at their own homes.

An All-Family Portrait. A very meaning Holiday gift for moms whose children and grandchildren are at far distance. One mother’s desired wish is to see all her loved ones to be photographed together. This may take a lot of effort, but it can be fun, a family get-together can provide a long lasting portrait and a keepsake for mom that she will cherish for years.

Handmade Gift. Whatever gift you created, it is still the thought that counts. Handmade gifts are always appreciated by any moms. She’ll will surely cherish a poem, a construction-paper turkey, or a sketch of her. You don’t have to be an artist to make your own handmade gift for mom, just imaginative and creative. A handmade Christmas gift for mom make giving more about love than about money.

A Pampering Gift. Why not let mom enjoy and relax at spa? It may include a facial, massage, pedicure, manicure and haircut. Or perhaps, you may consider sending her a pampering basket that are filled with spa supplies, bubble bath, soothing lotion, scented candles and potpourri.

Flowers. If you can’t find any ideal gift for your mom this Christmas, the best and safest alternative are flowers. Flowers are an indulgence that most women rarely buy for themselves. One single red rose on her table can be a thoughtful surprise and a way of letting her know she’s wonderful. Or perhaps, give a bouquet of fresh blooms. Aside from the fact that flowers are a beautiful and eye-catching gift, they are also less expensive.

Personalized Holiday Gifts. There are so many personalized items that can make an amazing gift for mom this coming Christmas. Find a good specialty store that offer personalized gifts for her. You can give a sparking engraved jewelry or perhaps a monogram purse. Other choices include personalized kitchenware, bathroom or bedroom supplies and cosmetic paraphernalia. Above all this, giving something special to mom makes her feel she’s the most blessed woman on earth! Choose the right gift from a line of thank you gifts that are abundantly available via the Internet.

Janet R.
http://www.articlesbase.com/home-and-family-articles/what-to-buy-for-wonderful-mom-this-coming-christmas-715606.html

The struggle to manage the finance is a very important factor to consider as a single parent. Getting a proper job to support both the parent and the child can solve this. Finding a job in the immediate vicinity would help a lot as enough attention can be given to the child.

There may be many effects of single parenting on the parent. It is extremely tough and also a challenging task. Many of these parents suffer from the negative effects caused.

There are a lot of articles like this and many websites and also magazines. All you have to do is take some time and search. For articles that are more precise and that will provide you with exactly what you want you could look for them in the libraries. By reading these articles and books one can develop a good ideas how to handle a situation and these articles will behave as a guide and help you out to make your parenting life a little easier.

As the number of marriage break ups, death of a partner or even teenage pregnancies have increased these articles have become very popular and are being publicized widely. There have been many demands over the last few years on self-help tips on how to raise a child being a single parent.

These articles mainly focus on Single moms and dads who have lost their spouse because of an unfortunate death and have to raise their child all by themselves. These articles would help them to handle grief and to continue their life without a partner.

In order to reduce all the bad effects the Single parents must talk and express well with their children. they should communicate well and allow their children to express the problems that they are facing. Its upto the parents to let their children know that no matter what happens they will be always loved.

The most important thing is the parents should give their child a secure feling, a healthy environment and lots of love. This is important because it helps the children to be in a better psycological position. This will help them a lot and they will feel very secure. This will help in their growth both physically and psycologically.

Some children who are being raised in a bad environment or the children who are the product of teenage pregnancies are liable to be very sensitive than children raised in a normal environment, as they seem to be a usual topic at school or with their friends. This puts in a very uncomfortable position. These children must be helped to cope up and these articles will help a parent to do that.

Some articles are very confusing and are of not much help, such articles must be totally disregarded. As these are articles written by humans they are liable to errors and need not be perfect. But most of the authors use their experience as a single parent and write the articles. And sometimes they are not so informative.

Articles like those on single parenting are of great help for parents who are single to guide their child to a better future and to help them become better citizens.

The most important thing children need is security, loving and a very healthy environment for a proper physical as well as psychological growth. If these conditions are satisfied the children will grow up to be fine men even if a single parent has brought them up. Its always up to the parent how their children shape up to be in the future.

Abhishek Agarwal
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/home-buying-programs-for-single-parents-their-benefits-740377.html