Archive for the ‘Single parents’ Category
April 18th, 2010 | 
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If you are reading this, I will assume you either have or will have a teen driver in your household. Having been through this myself, I graciously offer you “the parent/s” my personal feelings and research on the subject.
As a single father of two children, I was terrified when they became old enough to drive. Not because of trust, or I thought they were bad drivers, far from it. It was the mere fact that the world has changed greatly, and not for the better. My children mean everything to me, and having been an owner of a Towing & Recovery business for 25 years, I have seen more than my share of fatalities involving teens. Many would have survived if only they could have received help sooner.
When I first started too drive, my father handed me the keys to the old Chevy and off we went. Mostly on dirt roads, but I loved it. I listened to every word of caution and instruction my father had to offer. However, like I said, things have changed, teens are more independent now and while they will listen for the most part. You will need to offer a little more latitude than when you were that age. Still, when it was time to drive I have to admit I was scared to death, let me reiterate, it was not a trust issue. Simply put, “we” as teenagers did not have to contend with carjacking, theft, massive traffic or road rage. Moreover, I believe that many teens succumb to peer-pressure more so in today’s society.
Therefore, after several gray hairs, and before my second child’s turn too drive. I decided to find a solution that could give me peace of mind, while protecting my children. However, I did not want to interfere with their privacy or sense of freedom. I felt with the advancements we have in technology, there must be a product that would fulfill my requirements. These were simple,
- A panic button they could push if phone use was not possible/practical, that would instantly notify me of an emergency i.e. injury, carjacking ect…
- Ways to locate and track the vehicle if such an emergency arose. This would facilitate a quicker response time by medical or law enforcement by providing an exact location.
- Instant notification should the vehicle be evolved in an accident or stolen.
- A way to recover the vehicle if it was stolen.
- And most important, give my children and I a greater level of safety and security.
While some new vehicles offer systems that have a couple of these features, they require third parties to relay information. This in-turn slows response time and it would not notify me directly. In addition, they simply do not offer all of my requirements. Moreover, buying a new vehicle for $30,000 or $40,000 is not prudent for a first car. I believe a parent should help, but the teenager should be required to pay for at least part of the vehicle. This teaches them they half to work for what they want, and a greater sense of pride when it is achieved. In addition, I wanted a system that could be easily installed or removed in any vehicle and at a reasonable price.
After several months of research, I found the Millennium Plus. It easily provided for my requirements, and a multitude of other features that could be used or not at my choice i.e. remotely lock/unlock door or disable vehicle and much more. It was also very affordable costing no more than a good stereo.
I purchased one for each of our vehicles, and after installing it, I do feel much more relaxed. The kids love it too, maybe because it is a new toy or the fact they can remotely control the car. I personally think every parent should install this system for peace of mind. You can find it at www.findvehicle.net
Larry Kilburn
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/parents-teen-driver-safety-678792.html
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Personally I have 7 children 6 boys 1 girl, ranging from 9 to 25 and most of them are in their teens, we own every Nintendo system and nothing but. It’s hard to afford even the WII, let alone find one, so we thought waiting for a year.
We could get one for them next year, so we will wait to read the gossip reviews and facts going around.
We have also loved and recommend the type of games SONY has put out for years and years, they produce a good variety. These are the sort of kid games the kids really want. Having said that, it is true that Nintendo does have fabulous games. I’ll go even further Nintendo has games that we almost cannot live with out!
The classics are Zelda, Mario and the like, Shooters, and sports, and SONY undeniably has the top Kid games, of role playing, great shooters, etc. I could go on and on.
I enjoyed some unusual board games or vintage kid games which we played as a kid, but, in my opinion, none can match the shear power of enjoyment kids get now from the top computer game creators.
There is more and more use of games to put across important messages to kids. Some “keep them safe” type kid games are available that have been designed for tweens and teens. They are full blown actual computer games that take kids through the experience of being hood-winked by internet predators.
The reason that such a large investment has been put inot such games is so that kids can learn to recognize the signs and avoid the real thing.
The many kid games we have bought in our family can be categorized under various groups such as representations of indoor games, outdoor games, card games, board games, and even turing full circle some even imitate role playing in computer games, etc.
The outdoor kid games programs tend to include hyper-physical activities such as running, swimming, jumping , etc. All the kid games we like are set up to be user-friendly so that children can earn lots of little rewards.
Now turning away from computer kid games lets talk of some games which we play for real!
Choose two teams with an even number of kids on each team, line up half of them from each team at each end. Designate a starting line and a finish line about 10 feet away. Give each team a straw and a ping-pong ball. The winning team must work in relay to blow the ball back and forth, until there are no more relay members left. The first to finish is the winning team.
Children want to be entertained, not patronized by their kid games. And, going back to computer games, from a character design standpoint, at least Sonic was blue.
Children are not children for very long and the game company that ignores their future spending power does so at it’s own peril. The problem I detect is that the games companies are focusing to much on the biggest market, and on older geek players. Why can’t a gaming console cater better for the development of our children, teens and adults. Big games creating companies should do better. Not just line up all their output for high spending sad, spotty geeks who have nothing else to do.
Child play games, if they are to be successful in allowing your inner child to become visible to you and others, often need to be simple, silly, frivolous, childish, light and airy. The reduction of stress and anxiety in our lives requires that we relax, lighten up and become less serious and intense.
Nintendo is for children. The children are the future. OK. Nintendo is a business, and it needs to make a profit, fine. But while selling better games fo well balanced and intelligent children they do not need to completely abandon every single hardcore gamer.
I have seen Nintendo’s business development and products over the years. They must have made very many blunders in the past years including now bringing out a even smaller Gameboy advance, yet they have the Gameboy SP and a Gameboy DS out as well. Also, just because Nintendo says that you can download games from every one of 20 years from its library, this doesn’t mean that they will be all be good games.
Lucky for us their all time greatest titles are all available for the Game Boy Advance! Steve Evans
http://www.articlesbase.com/fitness-articles/kid-games-a-parents-view-698299.html
Life sure is full of twists and turns, sometimes taking us in directions we never expected to go in. In the 1960’s, when I was born, little girls were groomed to depend on men for a fulfilling family life. Learning to cook, clean and be ladylike were the norm back then. Watching Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and other lovely Disney movies, we waited for our hadsome princes to come take us away. For me, that never happened. Looking fashionable and cooking gourmet meals for men just didn’t do it for me, somehow. I kept my figure, wore high heels and pretty dresses, had my hair done every eight weeks and did the whole Stepford Wife thing (I can make a kiler batch of cookies), but felt totally unfulfilled and worn out. My husband always found things to complain about, no matter what I did. I felt unappreciated and bored in the lifestyle I thought I’d wanted all along.
Marriage in itself is a fine institution for those for whom it worked out in. In my case, my marriage was disappointing, and a lesson in self-preservation. That picture-perfect husband of mine looked like he walked off a model’s runway somewhere, but behind that dazzling, pretty face was the heart of a cold, heartless, psychotic and dangerous monster. He morphed himself into an angry, dangerous drug and alcohol addict, after spending too much time with his womanizing, drunk friends. I divorced him after enduring a roller coaster of problems, threats and his infidelities. Enough was enough. After trying to get him help, with no success, I realized he wasn’t going to get better, and concluded that if I valued my life, I had to go and not look back. His putting a knife to my throat was the last straw. That was ten years ago.
After my marriage ended, I was in my thirties, footloose and fancy free. Going out with my other single or divorced friends, we had a lot of fun going dancing, and out to restaurants together. We met up every week in downtown Cleveland high-class watering holes, then would go out to eat afterwards. Together, we visited places like Jamaica, Mexico and other exotic travel destinations, just for fun. I even lived in Mexico for two years, which was an adventure I’ll never forget. As time went on, one by one, my friends and I all started dating new men and saw each other less often. My next boyfriend lived in another city, and I moved there to be with him later on. Big mistake.
My last relationship lasted for two years to a compulsively lying, travelling salesman who it turned out had more ex-wives then he’d told me about. During his travels, he hooked up with women, and was eventually busted later, when I found phone numbers and makeup on his shirts. He had excuses for everything, but I learned he couldn’t be trusted and left. He freaked out and stabbed my hand with a fork as I moved out. He was put in jail and I got a restraining order out against him as I moved far away and never looked back. Good riddance.
A few years later, here I am, happily single and proud of it. My life is full and complete, and I’m happier now than I ever was as a girlfriend or wife. Why is it so wonderful to be alone, you may ask? For starters, if I want to date, I can, but I can go home to my own place afterwards. No worries about making dinner every night. I can and do, eat cereal for dinner, without ridicule. Captain Crunch is my favorite. My second childhood has arrived. I have the whole bed to myself (except for my cats, who sleep on my feet). If I want to take a trip, I just grab a friend and off we go. No long lectures about how that kind of thing is frivolous. I make enough money to live well, and do what I want.
Ok, so there are a few things about being single that aren’t easy. I have to clean the cat box, take out the trash and there was nobody to help me cope with a slipped disk in my back, which left me sleeping on the floor for weeks, due to the severe pain. No situation is perfect, and it would’ve been easier to have a partner to get through these things. But, I made it through my pre-concieved list of undesirable situations, and was stronger for it, later. Before, I was more dependent on men. Now, I choose not to be. I have no idea how to fix my own car, or hang something really heavy on the wall. So, handymen and mechanics are hired to help out with those. With practise, a workable system forms, making it easier to do all sorts of activities and chores oneself.
At this point in life, I date but only a little. My world is complete and I enjoy my solitude. If I want companionship, I call up friends or play with my pets. Animals are loving and make great companions. No, I’m not a crazy cat lady. Just one who likes to do things my way, and is much more sane and happy by being free to be myself. Men ask me out here and there, I enjoy their company but tell them that I am looking for just friends. Life taught me what works best for me. I like the unconditional acceptance of my pets, the ease of working from my home office, for my job. Nobody scolds me if I didn’t do the laundry and nobody forgets our anniversary. Every year I buy myself a gift at Valentines’ Day. I have no problem with this holiday. though some single people I know, dread it. Why dread it? It’s a celebration of love. I call my parents and tell them I love them, pet my pets, and talk to friends. Maybe, I go and get a latte at Starbucks. Life is good, and who knew being single could feel so good? I now “see the light”.
Ten years ago, I’d have said that anyone who felt like this had given up on life and love. I haven’t, not at all, my priorities have changed, though. Now, I can live out sort of a combination of midlife crisis and a second childhood, by watching movies like Shrek, Harry Potter and Finding Nemo without boring and annoying my remote control-obsessed ex, who would rather watch the stock market on CNBC twenty four hours a day. I can buy a nicer car that before, seemed totally unpractical to my previous life as our budget wouldn’t allow it. On holidays, I’m not stuck visiting his fighting relatives, and can sleep in or celebrate with those I want to be with. Selfish, maybe, but for the first time in my life, it feels good to think of myself instead of putting others first.
For anyone dreading being single, remember, it’s all in your head how to react to the situation. You can be miserable and lonely, or you can get out there and enjoy your life, do what you want to do and later settle down if you choose to. Things aren’t black and white, they’re grey. Who knows what life brings us. I go with the flow, and if someone worthwhile does happen into my life at some point, after checking his criminal history, maybe I’d settle down again. But for now, I’m having too much fun being me, living life to the fullest and working hard. I’m no longer dependent on anyone and it feels great. Freedom feels good. Do whatever works best for you, but the bottom line is, live a happy life. Make whatever situation you’re in work for you, too. Life is too short to be stuck in a relationship that makes you miserable.
Carolyn McFann
http://www.articlesbase.com/women’s-issues-articles/being-a-happily-single-and-independant-woman-after-leaving-a-bad-marriage-126030.html
She says 70% of inmates in US come from single parents and that a simple change in marital laws could solve many of the crime problems.
It sounds like most people agree that her claims are pretty far fetched. At the end of the day, it sells books. As bad as it sounds, I hope she says the things she does to make money and not actually believe what comes out of her mouth.
EDIT: I agree with the answer that said it’s all in how the kids are raised whether by 2 parents or one. My mom did a damned good job for being on her own. And I know more than just the person I mentioned who was raised by 2 parents that got in trouble with the law.
hm mm…
Well I can see her point, but I don’t completely agree. I was raised by a single mother who had to work either 2 jobs or long hours (if she could get them) at one job. There was me, my sister, and my brother. And without a father around we got into a lot more trouble than if we would have with 2 parents and the supervision of a 2 parent household.
My sister and I never got in trouble with the law, other than underage drinking, so no jail time. But my brother has been in jail. He’s not now, and has been on a good path in his life for a long time. But he didn’t start getting in trouble until my mom was remarried, when he was like 13 or 14. So even with 2 parents he still managed to sneak out of the house at night and (with the help of an older accomplice) he was breaking into people’s cars. But of course he may have been acting out because of having a new stepfather. It’s hard to adjust to having a father when you never had one before. And by the way the accomplice was raised in a 2 parent household.
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I’m a single parent. I need everything, financial aid, support, parenting tips, etc. Is there any website that has all this information?
Here are some links…
http://www.singlemom.com/RESOURCES/financialaid.htm
http://www.ecampustours.com/payingcollege/financialaid/financialaidforsingleparents.htm
http://www.grossmont.edu/fa/qa.asp
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