According to recent studies, men are two and a half times more likely to commit suicide after divorce as compared to women. These studies have put an end to the famous mistaken belief that women suffer more after divorce.

Women have long been termed as emotional beings by their male counterparts. In fact, it is common for men to ridicule and even feel frustrated about the emotional quotient displayed by women. However, truth is, it is this emotional quotient that helps women cope with divorce far more easily than men. Women tend to make friendships on a far deeper emotional level than men do. These friendships help women deal with their feelings during and after the divorce process because women are able to talk to their friends about their concerns and problems.

Men, on the other hand, tend to form friendships wherein they can get to “hang out” with their friends but not talk about their deep inner feelings. Since men are not able to voice out their bitterness and hurt felt during the divorce, they tend to feel a void in their lives. In fact, it is common for men to seclude themselves from their friends because they do not even know how to have fun with their friends when their minds weigh so heavily with emotional baggage related to divorce.

Men tend to feel more shattered than women after the divorce because in most of the divorce cases involving children, the custody of the children is awarded to the mother. Therefore, all of a sudden, men find themselves to be a mere visitor in their child’s life, which can be a very tough emotion to deal with.

Children tend to act as stress busters during the divorce process because they become a source of love and support after divorce. While custodial mothers are able to reap the rewards of this love and affection and cope with divorce easily, non-custodial fathers tend to feel very lonely because they not only lose their status of being a husband but also of being a father.

It is common for men to blame themselves after the divorce because they feel that divorce could have been averted if they had been more sensitive to their troubled marriage. Truth is, no matter how much a wife complains about problems or concerns in a marriage, husbands mostly never understand the importance of these issues. For that reason, when wives file for a divorce, most husbands are in state of shock. When men are unable to deal with their feelings of guilt, bitterness, loneliness, and anger, suicide seems to be the only alternative.

Survival Strategies for Men to Avoid Suicidal Tendencies

• Communicate

  It is extremely important for men to talk about their feelings and concerns to someone that they can trust and depend on. Since many men do not know how to talk about their innermost feelings to their male friends, it might help if you seek help of a female friend or relative. Often, gaining insights to problems from a female perspective can be of huge help during such a tough time.

  If you feel that there is no one you can turn to, seek professional help. Professional therapists will not only help you to overcome your fears and problems but will also help you find solutions to these issues and fears. It is important to remember that your inner healing phase will not start unless you let out the bitterness, sadness, or frustration associated with divorce.

• Join a Divorce Support Group

  Joining a divorce support group is a good way to understand that you are not the only one in this tough situation. There are some divorce groups that specifically cater to the needs of divorced men. Joining these groups is a good way to find out what tools and strategies others have used to cope with the stress and problems related to divorce.

• Forgive and Move On

  Many times we are not able to move on with our lives after a bitter incident because we fail to forgive those who have caused us hurt and pain. However, truth is, the best way to relieve ourselves of our pain is to forgive the person who is the source of the pain. By forgiving and moving on with your life, you close a bitter chapter of your life and accept the outcome as an eventuality.

James Walsh
http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/why-are-men-more-likely-to-commit-suicide-after-divorce-383186.html

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It seems obvious that everyone sets that standard themselves. Being a great dad isn’t achieving one set of measures, or even ensuring that your child confirms you’re a great dad whenever prompted.

Being a great dad is an every day climb up the mountain, or a thousand-task test of parenting skills: patience, generosity, creativity, intelligence, wisdom. What works one day is a failure the next. Not all of us can stay at home with our kids, attend every concert and performance, or even make macaroni and cheese. Unlike moms, who seem to have more prescribed roles by society in this area, we blunder about trying to maintain our manhood, while aiming to be good and present parents. But, what does that entail? It’s not just making breakfast, but knowing how to make oatmeal like mommy makes it. It’s not picking them up at school, but being there five minutes early because you know a five-year old doesn’t want to be the last one picked up. It’s not just setting out the clothes to wear, but allowing your daughter to wear all pink. It’s not just buying the toy, but playing it over and over for hours because you can’t let the kid “just win.”

Today I failed at being a great dad to my daughter. It was the big Chinese New Year’s trip to Chinatown and she had her Chinese dress all set up to wear, but all her tights were in the laundry. I quickly volunteered to wash them and throw them in the dryer. Twenty minutes later with my carpool partner knocking at the door, the tights were still soaking wet and unwearable. Daughter, in tears, left the house, tights-less. The story has a happy ending only because I had the free time to continue drying the tights and race over to the school to beat the field trip departure and hand over the now-dry tights. Crisis averted, daddy restored to hero status. But how fragile that perch!

I’ll try in this blog to provide a forum for dads of different types and styles to relate their challenges and solutions. I’ll also give some advice on things to do, places to visit, and some things to have in your pocket, both literally and figuratively, as you try to be a great dad, whatever that means to you.

For more information about parental advice for single dads, please visit: http://www.greatdad.com

Paul Banas
http://www.articlesbase.com/men’s-issues-articles/howto-be-a-great-dad-99336.html

Questions about divorce usually begin with people asking their friends who have already gone through the divorce process. They are generally subtle so the person being asked doesn’t really know that the one asking is contemplating a divorce. They ask questions about how the kids are doing or whether they’re still in touch with their ex. To those who haven’t gone through divorce the whole thing is a big mystery and very scary. Usually the person who is contemplating divorce has a friend they will soon confide in to gain support for their own move in that direction. A person being asked is seen as somewhat of an expert because they have gone through it, and the person being asked finds some relief from their own pain by sharing their experience. Unfortunately the questions that are being asked are the wrong questions. Usually the first question that is asked once the person comes clean is, “Was it worth it?” The typical response is the response of someone who felt they had no choice in the matter, so they answer yes. I would prefer other questions were asked rather than “how to” questions. So I have prepared a list of 6 divorce questions along with the truthful answers.

1. Was the person you divorced the same person you married?
2. Was your spouse a good mother or father, or did they beat or otherwise abuse your children?
3. Were you a loving spouse, or did you not care anymore?
4. Do you love your spouse?
5. Did you ever get a marriage manual?
6. Are your kids really doing OK now that you are divorced?

I met with someone today who was in tremendous pain because he didn’t know what to do anymore; he was losing his wife. His situation was so bad that his wife wouldn’t meet with he and I together. The truth is he was not a good husband and was quick to blame his wife for the breakdown of their relationship. They have two little children and so I agreed to meet with him alone, even though I usually don’t meet with only one of a couple.

When I asked him if he still loved his wife his response, although in the affirmative, was not very strong. When I asked him if he loved his children his response was clear as a bell. He was worn out and didn’t know what to do. I asked him if he read the marriage manual and he said he hadn’t ever heard of one. I said, “I know; until I wrote it there wasn’t one, so don’t be too hard on yourself for completely screwing up your marriage” (I only talk to men that way). I explained to him that he was like a guy who found himself in the cockpit of a plane, and had no idea how to fly. To make matters worse when he looks back he sees two children, and a woman depending on him to fly the plane. Now I’m not suggesting a marriage only requires a man knowing what to do, but it was an illustration he could relate to. He needed to understand that he simply didn’t have the tools needed to be successful.

I asked him if his wife was a good mother to their children and he acknowledged that he had some difficulties with some of her practices. I got all over him (again, a man to man conversation is much different) for having the audacity to point to a few particular things he didn’t care about, rather than point to some of the amazing things she does with the children. He understood what I was driving at. He had the choice, and had chosen, to be mean rather than supportive. So I questioned him some more about her virtues vs. her negative qualities, this time he pointed out her superior qualities, telling me he understood my point.

I asked him if his wife was as beautiful and charming as when he first met her, dated her and eventually asked her to marry him. He acknowledged that she was even more so. I then asked him why he didn’t continue to treat her the way he did when they first met. I asked him if someone gave him permission to start abusing her. He said no, and he also said he was starting to understand my point of view.

I told him he needed to read the Lessons For A Happy Marriage book, which covers all of these topics from many perspectives, in order to prove marriage is heaven on earth, when you know what to do.

Before you get a divorce or even seriously think about one, ask yourself if you are like that pilot in a plane who just hadn’t read the manual yet. Chances are very good you are married to exactly the person you should be married to but have no idea how to behave in order to make your marriage the kind of marriage you deserve.

Now the last question about the children; if you believe your kids will be OK after you get a divorce you have been duped. The kids don’t do OK. You could ask any teacher about what happens to children when their parents are going through divorce. The little boys crumble for all to see and the little girls internalize the suffering. Their lives are shattered and their futures become uncertain. Not only do they not do as well in school, they don’t do as well in life. Yes, there are always some who look like they beat the odds but you don’t have to take that chance with your own children. I don’t believe that you should suffer your entire life in a horrible marriage just for your children. I believe you should make your marriage a blissful satisfying heavenly experience. It would be better to suffer if you had to, rather than destroy the lives of your children. With a full heart say to your spouse, “I love you.”

Paul Friedman
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/6-divorce-questions-716872.html

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With the rule of society changing to make way for smaller families that live away from their own families and friend’s groups or known communities like those existing in small-towns or rural settings that often have family elders or older siblings looking after the younger lot, there is a need for good childcare facilities that daycare centers springing up everywhere hope to provide. Not only do working moms and dads benefit from sending their kids to quality daycare, but even those recuperating from an illness or those attending to medical emergencies in the family also find a way to meet child-rearing challenges in a child-safe environment that the daycares of today provide.

1. Thus, with baby boomers showing the way for independent thinking and living even post-retirement and having been the kids that go out there and ‘just do it’ – there is loads of encouragement for kids to become independent of parental support at an early age; there are fewer stay at home moms and many Single parents that make it necessary for more children now than ever before to be placed in daycare so they are not latch-key kids, like the ’80’s had. With so many instances of sex-offenders on the prowl for innocent kids, staying home alone is not a viable option and daycares provide qualified, trained staff focused on keeping children safe, happy and out of danger while learning new skills and activities besides seeing to their timely meals and rest, so are a good bet for many parents.
2. For those parents that cannot afford or find a suitable in-house babysitter or caregiver, daycare provides the best alternative for placing their child in safe, capable hands and a kids-friendly community where they learn to get along with other kids. Daycare options are a-plenty with variable fee-costs that make it an affordable and convenient option, not to mention safe and comfortable kids-friendly environment to learn and socialize in, for many parents; from full-daycare to part-time services to even week-end options, there are all kinds of daycares abounding! For pre-schoolers, there’s the option of after-school only daycare (3-5 hours) and for babies or toddlers, many a time one parent or the other may juggle work-load and shifts to be around so it may only be part-time daycare required, which makes it possible for parents to always follow every important milestone in the child’s life.
3. Instead of just watching TV or eating junk-food or perhaps putting themselves in danger when left alone without adult supervision at home, children are better off at daycares that provide a host of all-round child development facilities apart from full-time trained staff attending to children’s needs, right from healthcare to playtime and medical emergencies. You can choose to volunteer a few hours a week to make the transition from a home environment to a community one easier on your child or pay surprise visits to spend extra quality time with your precious one; this will allow you to know the real functioning of the daycare center and allow you to bond with your child.

Abhishek Agarwal
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/child-care-3-points-that-make-it-imperative-740391.html

Coping with divorce seems especially difficult during the holidays. Sadness, anger, and regret can overwhelm you at a time that should be exciting and happy. Memories of happier times emphasize the unwelcome changes divorce brings. You may dread holiday get-togethers that you used to anticipate with pleasure. It’s difficult enough to deal with your own emotions; facing family and friends is often too much to bear. Financial uncertainty may create worry where once you enjoyed generosity.

For children, divorce turns the holidays upside down. They are torn, wanting to be with both parents. They worry that the holidays won’t be the same. Will they see Grandma? Will Santa find them? Will they get any presents? They hide their bigger fears about how divorce will change the family behind a litany of fears about holiday activities and traditions.

Other than perhaps the death of a parent, divorce is often the single most traumatic event in a child’s life. In America 60% of all marriages end in divorce and a third of those divorces involve bitter conflict. One million children in our country are involved in divorce each year.

As typically practiced in America, divorce rips asunder the very foundation of a child’s world. It shatters the family structure, destroys communication between the parents, and irrevocably changes the child’s relationship with each parent. Children suffer not only their own fears and misery over the loss of the family but, too often, are used as pawns by one parent to hurt the other. Out of anger or emotional need, one parent may seek to monopolize the child’s time and affection to the exclusion of the other parent. There are no winners in a divorce. Everyone loses, but the children lose most of all.

How a couple divorces has far greater impact on their children than the actual separation, researchers have found. Weary of acrimonious divorce battles and the expense and emotional damage they cause, legal professionals sought a more constructive way to dissolve marriage, giving birth to Collaborative Family Law in 1990. Collaborative law focuses on divorce not just as a painful ending but as an opportunity for a new beginning. Stressing cooperation over confrontation and resolution over revenge, collaborative divorce is transforming how couples dissolve their marriages, divide their assets, and reinvent their post-divorce parenting relationships.

Taking place outside the court process, collaborative practice uses a cooperative team approach in which both parties and their respective attorneys meet together, sometimes advised by financial or child experts. During meetings, parents learn and practice open communication, self-management and negotiation skills that can form the basis for successful future interactions. They learn to manage and reduce conflict and the anguish and divided loyalties it can engender in their children. Through collaboration, parents have the opportunity to lay a foundation for the respectful, cooperative parenting of their children. Agreements are reached jointly in the collaborative process and seek to accomplish the goals of both parties while preserving the welfare of the entire family, particularly the children. Through collaborative divorce, couples have the opportunity to emerge with a fair settlement and peaceable relationship that minimizes the negative effects of divorce on their children. That’s a holiday gift more precious than gold!

Michaeil Mastracci
http://www.articlesbase.com/mental-health-articles/coping-with-divorce-during-the-holidays-675462.html

If you’re a husband who is seeing signs and signals that indicate your wife may file for divorce, there are some important things you should be aware of.

Similarly, everything a man signs is important. For example, many a man has signed an unfavorable agreement in good faith based on his attorney’s statement of “just until we get this worked out”. Unfortunately, that unfavorable agreement became a binding and legal agreement that the man had to live with for the next 10 to 20 years – or in some cases, for the rest of his life (or his ex-wife’s life).

Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro of MarriedAndHappy.com. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if a resource box pointing to the following website is included with it.

Calle Zorro
http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/i-think-my-wife-is-about-to-file-for-divorce-help-737370.html

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When I tell people that my husband and  have a blended family of five kids, two boys and three girls, I hear the obvious chuckle and the usual comment that our life is like TV show. They are, of course, referring to The Brady Bunch, an idyllic, fantasy-like sitcom of yesteryear where aside from Marsha getting hit in the nose with a football and Jan developing an allergy to flea powder, life was pretty much tame (and lame if you ask my kids). I do agree that my life is like a TV show, but more along the lines of a modern day reality program, like Survivor. When I see a group of adults bickering over coconut milk dressed in skimpy outfits in front of a roaring fire in the tropics all I can think is, “Big deal, where’s the challenge?” Try taking five cranky, bored, dirty, exhausted kids on a camping trip, in tight quarters, in the rain for five days. Survive that!  Better yet, see if you can pack five lunches every morning, cook dinner for seven every night, attend four different soccer games in one day, wash twenty loads of laundry a week and feign interest in your daughter’s story about the weird kid in her class who eats paper.

 My life is far from ideal. My dogs smell, my house is never clean all at once and I forget to water my plants  until they die and I have to throw them out. We manage. I have my priorities. At least I don’t forget to feed the kids. How could I? They’re always hanging over me begging for food.  Then of course there’s the constant juggling of schedules of five children alternating among three separate households. Who left green bunny at Dad’s or their math textbook at Mom’s? It seems like something is always forgotten somewhere. Remembering where five kids have to be all the time is challenge worthy of an NFL offense coordinator. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gritted my teeth at one of my children to “get your cleats on, get in the car, we’re going to be late for soccer!” only to discover I’ve driven to the wrong field and forgotten it was my turn to bring snack. Oh, how I wish my life were like Carol Brady’s. I’d have time to read, and sleep, and eat without interruption. I’D HAVE A MAID.  My husband and I would never fight and I could go the bathroom alone. I try to take comfort in the thought that at least I have better hair and I’m not walking around in double knit plaid pantsuits.

Truthfully, I love my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. When my first marriage ended in divorce and I reentered the single scene at age 40 I truly thought my days of coupledom were over. With two kids under the age of 9, and struggling to support myself as a single mom, not only did I not have the time for dating, I didn’t have the confidence either. I worried that my children would not accept a new man in my life or worse, that a new man wouldn’t accept them either. Childless men I dated were impatient with or lacked the understanding of the demands and challenges of having children. On the other hand, men with families were in the same predicament I was–no time and no energy. Even though I considered my kids my greatest asset, I was soon confronted with the harsh reality that not all of my dating prospects thought so. Refusing to believe that my children were a liability, or “baggage” as one man put it, I gave up on dating, retreated into myself and worried that I would spend the rest of my life alone. Then I met and fell in love with Paul, a loving father of three and we decided to marry and blend our family of five kids, four cats, three dogs, two fish and a bird.    As a newly remarried mother of two and stepmother of three, I’ve decided to start this blog because I feel I have a message of hope and guidance to share with parents and children who are already in or who are thinking  about entering into blended families.

When word spread that my husband and I were engaged, people I barely knew, mostly acquaintances from my kids’ schools, would approach me at soccer games or in the grocery store and flood me with questions. “How did you meet him? Does he have kids? How do they all get along? What are the custody arrangements?” The more I answered their questions, the more specific they became. “How do you get them all to school on time? How  do you split the holidays? Do you really cook  dinner for seven people every night and pack five lunches every morning?”  (Yes, I do. Every other week. See my RECIPES FOR FAMILY DINNERS page to learn tips and menu ideas.)

I quickly came to realize that not only did they want advice, they wanted inspiration and assurance that it was possible for them to remarry and blend their families too. One dear friend of mine, once a single mom and recently remarried into a blended family told me, “You are my beacon of hope.” If that is the case, then I will try to shine as bright as I can, and most importantly, tell is like it is. The same friend also told me she admired my honestly. I try to keep it real. I’m ecstatically happy now, but when life stinks, and often times it can, I’ll make sure to let you know. We all have challenges and no one’s life is a bed of roses.  Please read and write comments so we can laugh and cry together, gnash our teeth, wring our hands, share our joys and triumphs, and most importantly learn from each other.

We are the Shwanda’s , which is not our real name. It is a combination of our two last names that our kids came up with one day when they were playing a computer game called Sims. The object of the game is to design and build a house and create a family to live happily in it, which is exactly what we did. This is our story.

Note: I know many people who read this blog already know me. With regard to the general public, in the interest of protecting my family’s privacy, I have changed their names.  I will refer to my husband as Paul, his oldest son, 17 as Sam, the younger boy, 15 as Mark, and his daughter, 11 as Cheryl. My oldest daughter, 15 will be called, Sophia and my youngest daughter, 12 as Eva. As for me, just call me Carol. This should be very interesting since I can’t remember their names now.

To read my blog go to: www.shwanda.com

Carol Shwanda
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/how-one-couple-took-a-second-chance-on-love-and-blended-five-kids-four-cats-three-dogs-two-fish-and-a-bird-722540.html

Depression is hell as it is been referred by many of the doctors and hypnosis – therapists. There is no single reason for depression. Some of the symptoms of depression are a person feeling sad all the time for no proper reason. Low energy level or just being lazy and not doing your tasks. Things that you enjoyed the most you start hating, withdrawal from family and friends. Constant anger, frustration, not able to concentrate on work, all are symptoms. Weight loss or gain significantly, changing sleeping patterns, less sleep, waking up early and thoughts of suicide or death are some of the symptoms observed.

People can get depressed even if they are been not able to get up with energy in the morning. Depression has many factors, which affect an individual. Medical problem, personal life problems, even genetics can be a cause for depression. You might think how can depression have a genetic cause, research shows that some people get the genes that are inherited from their parents suffering from depression and this can also affect them. Not everyone is affected by it; there can be a case that a person is suffering from depression even though no one from his family has ever undergone it. Events such as death of a loved one, family member, friend or even your pet can be a reason for depression when it goes beyond the normal grief.

Separation from your partner, parents getting divorced, partner betraying you, sometimes not getting satisfaction from your job or work can cause you to go in the state of depression. Family and social problems even trigger the cause of depression. For children seeing parents fight all the time, teens not getting what they want from their parents, negative thoughts in the mind also lead to depression, homelessness relationship problems, all can suffice as reasons. A person may also go into a state of depression if he is abused or scolded all the time. Abusing a person causes a chemical change, which differs the mood of a person. Medical conditions such as disability causes depression.

Depression directly affects the brain of a person. Depression is called as delicate chemistry of brain. Chemicals named neurotransmitters, which send messages, or signals to the brain change the mood of a person. If the flow of these signals is low then the person gets depressed or stressed. Stress also leads to depression. The cure for depression is to balance the neurotransmitters flow normally. Doctors attempt to resolve this by using a method of hypnosis. Hypnosis has been very effective then any other diagnosis. Experts have posted their thoughts about depression and its remedies on the Internet. If you feel that you are a prey of depression you can overcome depression yourself. The remedy is available on the Internet in the form of mp3 or video, which you can download and use to deal with depression. Overcoming depression yourself will help you get cured at a faster rate. Come out of depression and see the new sunshine by the help of hypnosis. Use your freewill in overcoming depression yourself.

Richard MacKenzie
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/depression-can-be-dealt-with-311085.html

This article refers to divorce law as it applies in England and Wales.

Apart from all the emotional turmoil, there are so many practical

matters that must be sorted out when a married relationship comes to an

end. If you and your partner find yourselves in the unfortunate

situation where you have decided to separate, you will both need to

consider what will happen to your money, investments,

possessions, property and children.

There are lots of different ways in which you can make arrangements to

part ways. For a start, you don’t need to get a divorce. If you and

your partner can agree amicably on how to settle the things that you

shared during your marriage, you may just opt for an informal

separation. It’s much cheaper and much less stressful than going

through the divorce courts. However, bear in mind that any informal

arrangements may affect any decisions made by the courts if you decide

to take your case down this route in the future. Also, a court may

reverse or alter any arrangement you have made with your partner if it

is considered unreasonable to either party or unfair on any children.

An alternative way to split without going through the divorce courts is

formal separation, in which a written mutual agreement is drawn up,

preferably by a solicitor. The agreement sets out the terms for

settling financial and material matters and arranging the care of any

children. It can cover financial maintenance either for the other

partner or for the children. Any agreement not to take a case to court

in the future will not be legally binding and both of you still have

recourse to the courts should amicable communication break down.

There are various other factors to weigh up when considering whether

divorce is the right option. Remaining married will have various legal

implications, and of course you won’t be able to remarry. Divorce is

therefore often the safest, fairest and most practical option.

Let’s straighten out a few facts about divorce, as it can cause

confusion to many people:

To apply for a divorce, you must have been married for at least

one year.

Your marriage must be legally recognised in the UK and you must

have been resident here for a certain length of time.

One partner must file a petition at court setting out the reasons

for the divorce and providing background information. They are known as

the petitioner and the other partner is known as the respondent.

The petitioner must provide grounds to show that the marriage has

broken down irretrievably. To demonstrate an irretrievable breakdown of

the marriage, at least one of the following factors must be proven:

adultery

unreasonable behaviour (such as physical, mental or emotional

abuse, or controlling behaviour)

one partner deserted the marriage at least two years ago (left

the marital home without the consent of the other partner or reasonable

justification for doing so)

where both parties consent to the divorce, at least two years

of living apart

where one party does not consent to the divorce, at least five

years of living apart

Where both parties consent to the divorce, it’s known as an

undefended divorce. Where one party doesn’t consent, it’s referred to

as a defended divorce.

If you file for divorce on grounds of adultery, the court will

need to know the details of the extramarital relationship, including dates –

you must file for divorce within six months of it taking place.

However, if one party doesn’t agree to the divorce, proof of the

adultery must be obtained, which isn’t always easy.

If you both consent to the divorce, the court will review the

application and issue a decree nisi. This can take up to six months, or

longer if there are children as the court will want to ensure that the

care arrangements made for them are adequate. A court hearing won’t be

required, but the court may want to speak to the children if they are

old enough.

Six weeks after obtaining the decree nisi, the petitioner can

apply for a decree absolute to finalise the divorce. Once the decree absolute

has been granted, the divorce is complete and the marriage is over.

If one partner does not agree to the divorce, attendance at court

will be required. The partner who disagrees must provide reasons to

demonstrate why they believe the marriage has not broken down

irretrievably. The judge will decide whether the marriage has broken

down irretrievably and will grant a decree nisi if they deem this to be

the case. Then the petitioner can apply for a decree absolute in the

same way as they would had the other partner consented to the divorce.

If there are any children in the marriage, the court will always

review the arrangements for their care. This includes where they will

live, who will look after them, what access both parents will have and

what financial support will be given. The court will always make its

decision based on what is deemed to be in the best interests of the

children. If both partners agree with the arrangements they have made,

the court will not intervene to change them. However, if one partner

finds the arrangements unacceptable, the court will review the case and

make a decision, known as a court order.

Financial arrangements – children

Both partners are financially responsible for their children, no matter

who the children live with. (Children under the age of 16 or under the

age of 19 and in full-time education are considered to be your

dependants.)

The most amicable way to arrange support is through a voluntary

agreement, where you and your partner come to a mutually acceptable

arrangement for looking after the children. This may be an informal

verbal arrangement or you could have a written agreement drawn up by a

solicitor (which is the safest option as it can help to resolve any

disputes further down the line). There are various ways in which one

partner can provide financial support to the other. They may agree to

pay all the household bills and perhaps the mortgage or rent, they may

buy the childrens’ clothes or pay for their holidays, or they may

prefer to give the other partner a regular maintenance payment for

their partner to spend appropriately on the children.

If you’re unable to come to an informal arrangement with your partner,

you’ll need to apply for financial support through either the Child

Support Agency or the court.

Financial arrangements – settlements for the other partner

Even if there are no children in the marriage, making a financial

settlement can be tricky business. If you are able to come to an

informal agreement together on how you will split your wealth, it can

save a lot of time, stress and money. However as with everything in

life, when there’s money involved, disputes inevitably arise. Many

divorcing couples therefore end up turning to the court to obtain a

financial settlement. In England and Wales, the general principle

concerning disputed settlements is that both partners should receive

50% of their combined wealth. There are sometimes extenuating

circumstances though, particularly in cases where a large amount of

wealth was accumulated by one partner before the marriage, or where one

partner has, for example, given up a career as a result of the marriage

or of having children. In such cases the split may not be completely

equal.

Financial arrangements – property

Again, you may come to an informal agreement as to what to do about the

marital home, or, if you can’t agree, the courts will decide. One

partner may still be living in the property, but this does not give

them any more rights than the other partner. The partner who is no

longer living in the home still has the right to come back to collect

items belonging to them (although in cases of domestic violence this

may be restricted by a court order), and still has a say in what

happens to the home – their consent will be required to put it up for

sale, for example. Even if one partner isn’t listed on the deeds as an

owner of the marital home, they nevertheless have equal rights to the

property – either to live in it or to have a say in whether it is sold.

However, to protect their rights, this partner must complete a form and

send it to the District Land Registry.

A final word of advice

In an ideal world, it’s always best to be able to agree things amicably

without the indignity of involving solicitors or going to court. In

reality, however, it’s not always easy to reach a fair and reasonable

agreement – and even if you do, things might turn sour at some point in

the future and either one of you could be left in the lurch. It’s

therefore best to consult a solicitor to ensure you understand your

rights and what you’re entitled to, and to help you reach an

arrangement with your partner that will allow you both to live

reasonably and comfortably when you separate.

Benedict
http://www.articlesbase.com/finance-articles/the-financial-cost-of-divorce-107256.html

Related Blogs

• Related Blogs on The Financial Cost of Divorce

 If you are reading this, I will assume you either have or will have a teen driver in your household. Having been through this myself, I graciously offer you “the parent/s” my personal feelings and research on the subject.

As a single father of two children, I was terrified when they became old enough to drive. Not because   of trust, or I thought they were bad drivers, far from it. It was the mere fact that the world has changed greatly, and not for the better. My children mean everything to me, and having been an owner of a Towing & Recovery business for 25 years, I have seen more than my share of fatalities involving teens. Many would have survived if only they could have received help sooner.

When I first started too drive, my father handed me the keys to the old Chevy and off we went. Mostly on dirt roads, but I loved it. I listened to every word of caution and instruction my father had to offer. However, like I said, things have changed, teens are more independent now and while they will listen for the most part. You will need to offer a little more latitude than when you were that age. Still, when it was time to drive I have to admit I was scared to death, let me reiterate, it was not a trust issue. Simply put, “we” as teenagers did not have to contend with carjacking, theft, massive traffic or road rage. Moreover, I believe that many teens succumb to peer-pressure more so in today’s society.

Therefore, after several gray hairs, and before my second child’s turn too drive. I decided to find a solution that could give me peace of mind, while protecting my children. However, I did not want to interfere with their privacy or sense of freedom. I felt with the advancements we have in technology, there must be a product that would fulfill my requirements. These were simple,

1. A panic button they could push if phone use was not possible/practical, that would instantly notify me of an emergency i.e. injury, carjacking ect…
2. Ways to locate and track the vehicle if such an emergency arose. This would facilitate a quicker response time by medical or law enforcement by providing an exact location.
3. Instant notification should the vehicle be evolved in an accident or stolen.
4. A way to recover the vehicle if it was stolen.
5. And most important, give my children and I a greater level of safety and security.

While some new vehicles offer systems that have a couple of these features, they require third parties to relay information. This in-turn slows response time and it would not notify me directly. In addition, they simply do not offer all of my requirements. Moreover, buying a new vehicle for $30,000 or $40,000 is not prudent for a first car. I believe a parent should help, but the teenager should be required to pay for at least part of the vehicle. This teaches them they half to work for what they want, and a greater sense of pride when it is achieved. In addition, I wanted a system that could be easily installed or removed in any vehicle and at a reasonable price.

After several months of research, I found the Millennium Plus. It easily provided for my requirements, and a multitude of other features that could be used or not at my choice i.e. remotely lock/unlock door or disable vehicle and much more. It was also very affordable costing no more than a good stereo.

I purchased one for each of our vehicles, and after installing it, I do feel much more relaxed. The kids love it too, maybe because it is a new toy or the fact they can remotely control the car. I personally think every parent should install this system for peace of mind. You can find it at www.findvehicle.net 

Larry Kilburn
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/parents-teen-driver-safety-678792.html